Good morning, starshine...

...the earth says hello.
This is my first official blog post. Guess I'll start with an intro. I just turned 30. I am married to Jason the love of my life and have been for almost 10 years now. I am a stay-at-home mom to four awesome little boys ranging in age from 8 to 1 years. I recently found out that the universe decided to send me a huge SURPRISE!!!...in the form of an unplanned little #5. Stunned much? Why yes... very much so. My husband and I both were, actually. I seriously felt him trembling when he hugged me. I began worrying about his heart. But after walking around like a stunned zombie for a day, I started to remember that everything happens for a reason. I honestly believe this to my core. Nothing happens without there being an underlying cause and usually, an effect that makes you sit back and go "Ohhhh...now it makes sense."

Case in point #1, my awesome hubby once got a job..it had better pay, benefits, and was an overall upgrade. It quickly proved to be a hot mess. They stopped paying for benefits after a few months, the execs were demanding (we're talking calls about e-mails not being received at 3am), the environment was toxic, the hours were erratic and very long, and we found out that the company wasn't profiting and (my personal favorite tidbit) the CEO was a former bigwig at Enron. Ohhh that had WINNING written all over it. Sooooo many times we'd ask ourselves "why the hell did this happen?" Well, while he was there, a new manager came along who was waaayyy too good for that crappy company. He and Jason hit it off really well and when the company tanked later on (inevitably) this guy got an amazing new job at an international company and contacted my hubby to offer him the job he has now. WOW. See? You sit back and go "Ohhhhh, right! All that hell had a reason and was worth it!"

Case in point #2. After our third son, we inevitably got baby fever again and wanted a girl. We revamped our girl name selection and dreamed of pink. I dreamed of passing down my old She-Ra dolls and buying Barbies and princesses and fairies. The entire pregnancy was different. Everyone predicted that we finally had our girl. 20 week ultrasound came along and our little girl had a big ole penis. My husband was depressed. Hugely. He'd wanted a Daddy's little girl soooo badly. Well, he adjusted, of course, and 20 weeks later, Bren was born. Bren is like J's mini-me. He lusts after technology more than any baby I've ever seen, he and J slept together, napped together, and when Bren was fussy, J would put on Depeche Mode and that made the tiny guy happy. He LOVES his Daddy. Jason wouldn't trade him for a million little girls. ;)

So this pregnancy, will have an amazing purpose. Perhaps the tiny product of it will grow up and find the cure for cancer or be the next Steve Jobs...or you know what, he\she could just be a ditch digger that touches a life somewhere along the way. Will I go a little crazy in the mean time? Yeah, probably. But as long as I don't land in the looney bin, I'll be good. ;) I am woman. Hear me roar. And probably cry from time to time, but damn it I will always come back roaring!