The Unflappable Ms. Clare

So that roller coaster, huh?

Yeeeaaahhhh....

The Durian has some big electrical issues. Big issues mean big money, naturally. Is there anything smellier than a durian?

Ugg, oh well. Like Jason said "It is what it is, nothing we can really do about it." This is unfortunately true. So while my hearing did fuzz out for a bit when reading the total, I've decided to be...unflappable. It is what it is. Why fuss and fume over it any longer? Why let something completely out of my control ruin things? Deep breath, in and out...maybe touch or feel something near you and focus on how it feels as a distraction.

Goooossssssffrrraaaabbbaaaaaaa....

This morning was kind of crap in and of itself. Everyone around here was on edge. The kids were angry at each other, angry at their school, angry at things they couldn't control. Interestingly enough, it was more of an annoyance to me than a panic situation. I kept my calm. I was kind of...unflappable. I'm not sure why, to be perfectly honest. Could it be that I've been eating healthier? The yoga once a day? Are the stars in my house aligned in a certain peaceful manner? No idea. I do wish it would stick around, though. Let's see how long it lasts...

I have been feeling pretty great since starting this new cleanse, though. This cleanse is only three days and you can actually eat food. Let's be honest here...nobody wants to live on juice or pills and water for a week. Even I tried the infamous 48 hour Hollywood Juice Diet when I was 20. I made it to dinnertime the first day. Let's recount how that went:

Cook at work: "Girl, I got barbecue ribs in the kitchen tonight!"
Me grimmacing: "Oh so that's what smells sooo good...  Man, I'm doing the juice diet today though!"
Cook with mild disgust: "What? Juice diet? Huh...well I'm just sayin'...they're good! Hmph juice."
Me: "Yeah I'm sorry..."
*goes back to the records book, smells ribs wafting through the air, checks a few boxes*
Me: "Oh fuck it, this juice is gross anyway."
*tosses pen down on the cart, heads to the kitchen*

She was right, her ribs were awesome. Her potato salad was too. No one wants to live on juice or lemon cayenne water or whatever the hell else liquid concoction is trending. So while I haven't been eating BBQ or ribs on this cleanse, I have been eating delicious food like roasted chicken. No starvation, but real results. Tomorrow I'll weigh in and make a more official post about it. I can't help but wonder if all of this hasn't been helping my mood though. Perhaps the cleanse has been helping along this unflappableness I've felt today. *shrugs* It surely can't be hurting.

I can't say I won't give The Durian a swift kick when we finally go pick it up though. Not enough cleanse in the world for that.

Roller Coasters and Durians

Remember the movie Parenthood? Good movie. Remember the part where the little Grandma talks about the Roller Coaster and it becomes a metaphor for life? That is probably one of the most relatable movie quotes that has ever been put to celluloid. Whenever life tosses a monkey wrench our way, I think of the little Grandma and her roller coaster.

A monkey wrench came our way today. It came in the form of our Suburban. Big shock. See, ever since we bought that car three years ago, it has proven to be nothing but a big fat money pit. Not just little repairs, either! We're talking some high dollar repairs. It's a complete lemon. Actually, I don't think I'd insult lemons by comparing them to that car. How about a durian? I've heard that durians smell like rotting corpses, so that would probably be a more fair association. Anyhoo, our durian of a vehicle has been a drain since we bought it and always at the worst times. For example, my sister and brother in law came down for a wedding and we all journeyed up to the Ren Fest together for a long overdue day of ye olde fun and merriment together. Guess what died on the way there? Yup, The Durian! We never even made it. Or the time that the entire air conditioning system died right before the Houston Summer. Or the time we were simply on the road to church and the piece of crap died in the middle of the road. Or when we were on the Gulf Freeway on the way to my baby sister's wedding and it just stalled right there on the highway. Cars in general can be a financial drain, but The Durian? Ohhhh it's taken things to a whole other level. 

So today I had dropped my middle boys off at home after church and was on the way back to pick up the oldest from Youth Group. I realized that the console behind the steering wheel was pitch black. No lights, no dials working, nothing. I couldn't tell how fast I was going or how much gas I had. The car seemed to be running fine, though, so I figured I'd be as careful as possible and just get it home quickly. As an extra precaution, I decided to stop and put a little gas in it. All was well until I turned the key to leave the pump. Nada. Nothing. I tried again and only heard the radio blasting and a soft ticking sound. I started to panic a bit and then anger took over. Again?!? Why? Why AGAIN? It hasn't even been a full three months since the last time we had to have it towed because it wouldn't start in our driveway! 

I'm so over this car. My oldest and I realized that in the three years we've owned it, we've had to call a tow truck FIVE times now. That's just the tows, that doesn't include the countless smaller repairs also. If that isn't durian status, I don't know what is. Today was supposed to be restful. A nice laid back day... Not a day where I sit with a headache in a gas station chicken joint waiting on a tow truck wondering how much repairs will cost THIS time. 

Now I realize that there are a lot of silver linings here. It broke down at a gas station and not on the side of the road. It was only Sean and I, so we didn't have to hang out in limbo with all of the kids and find transportation for all of us. The gas station was close to home so Jason was able to just come pick us up really quickly once the tow truck had left. Roadside assistance is covered under our insurance, so we weren't out anything for the tow itself. My brain is telling me these silvery linings and I can acknowledge them but I just don't feel it. It's still discouraging. Why do the dips in the roller coaster of life just come out of nowhere and then tend to be so expensive?  But I guess that's the nature of the roller coaster; they're full of surprises, some good, some frightening. They twist and turn and go from thrilling to uncomfortable in a flash. It really is the perfect analogy for life sometimes. 

*fingers and toes crossed* that The Durian won't be too expensive to repair or won't need anything major this time. Please, roller coaster...start going up again. Pretty please...with sprinkles on top.